She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
