So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
