Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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