Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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