So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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