dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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