somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
