I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
