whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am one with the molecules
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
