i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
