Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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