Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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