i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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