I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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