Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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