so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
