I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
