I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
