the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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