just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
