He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
