do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
