He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
