I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
