i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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