How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
