Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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