Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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