I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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