My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
