I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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