I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
