Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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