i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
a search helicopter?!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
