This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
