the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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