Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
