you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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