Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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