i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
