Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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