I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
How's work?
Spinning.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
