he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
