About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
