So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
