I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
