i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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