You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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