Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
40s are totally the cure
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
