New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
