i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
As shirtless as possible
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize