I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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