my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i think i just lost a toe
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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