i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
