at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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