We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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