Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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